An introduction...

Have you ever secretly wanted to be or do something but been scared shitless to act on it?

I've always wanted to be a writer. okay to be completely honest, I want to inspire people. I remember back in high school, there were these cheesy assemblies where some random dude would share his story, make a few jokes, and talk about owning your life. I've never told anyone this but, I always wanted to do that. I want to get up, share my story, and maybe impact someone's life.

In college, a feared Art History professor told me that I could write. The following year, I studied abroad for 3 months (pre-smartphone) my only connection with family and friends was a MySpace page cataloging my 23-year-old observations and anguish at the stark contrast between privileged college-age Americans and the vast expanses of the real world. Family and friends back home claimed they connected with my writing. (When I was cleaning my studio, I found a printed record of the blog. Likely, they were just being nice.) The years went by filled with graduations, marriage, multiple jobs, multiple moves, starting a business (or two), court cases, immigration battles, a baby, buying a house, graduate school, expanding my chosen family, a divorce, the list goes on... and on...

Back in the early 2000s a motivational speaker gig or later a blog seemed possible. It felt like a special dream, one that I would eventually attain, but as I grew up, so did the internet. Ever-expanding social media platforms turn everything moment into something to share. Where does my story fit? I continued to write, secret ponderings on the world around me, joys, struggles, frustrations, prayers and meditations, and wishes for the future. Eventually, I began combining writing, collage, and painting in my journals. But, my little dream didn't go away. My voice, a tiny flame continuing to grow, a steady flame of warmth inside of me, sustaining me.

After months of "planning" (translation: fear, and overthinking) it's time to write. Not for a business, not because I'm getting paid to, or because I hijacked someone else's dream but because it's too uncomfortable not to.

I often get stuck in a downward spiral of indecision. Lately, I've been challenging myself to let my intuition guide me. Here is a collage I made this morning to make myself uncomfortable. I gave myself a time limit, three magazines, and a task to make a collage with what feels right to me.

I hope you like it!